Don’t Make Big Decisions When You’re Tired

A small rule that helped me fix more than just my mood.

I put the key in the door at home, and an overwhelming wave of sadness hit me.
I don’t remember what I did next.
What I do remember is that, at some point, I would sit at my desk, open my laptop, and work a few more hours into the night.

I also remember how I’d time my office exit: always just before 7pm.
That was when a good friend and coworker would usually swing by my desk to debrief our days.
For almost two weeks, I left before she passed by, because I was obsessed with optimizing my time.
There was just so much to do.
And still, the sadness kept creeping in, day after day.

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The Therapy Session

Then the therapy session came.
All I did was cry for 45 minutes.

My therapist kept trying to get to the root of it:
What had happened?
What was about to happen?
Was it anxiety? Stress?

A little of both, maybe. But nothing that seemed to explain the heaviness.
Nothing that made sense of the crying that wouldn’t stop.

And then, near the end of the session, with more questions than answers, she asked:

“Have you been sleeping well at all?”

“No,” I replied. “There’s so much work. I finish late. I’m in the office early.”

“What about food? Have you been eating well?”

“No. I don’t really have time for lunch with all the meetings, so I just order something on the way home.”

“And exercising?”

“No,” I said again. “I don’t have the time… or honestly, the energy.”

“What about your friends? Any outings planned?”

“No, not really. I’m so exhausted that I just want to rest.”

(I didn’t even have the courage to admit the 7pm strategic exits. But at that point, I already knew where this was going.)

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The Baseline

That’s when my therapist introduced me to the concept of the baseline.

Your baseline is point zero.
Leave it unattended, and you’ll dip into the negative.
Take care of it, and you might start collecting positive points, maybe even hit a 10 someday.

When I showed up to that session, I was well below zero.

So my only job for the next couple of weeks?
Get back to zero.

How?

• Sleep well

• Eat well

• Move your body — even just a 30-minute walk around the park

• Repeat daily

Then: add in time with people you love.

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The Return to Zero

So that’s what I did.
And by the time my next therapy session came around, I wasn’t crying. I wasn’t sad.
I don’t even remember what we talked about.

Since then, I’ve made a deal with myself:
If I’m not, at minimum, at zero, I’m not allowed to make big decisions.
Because I know I won’t be thinking straight.

And that’s where I’ve been these past few days: somewhere below zero.
But yesterday, I got back to baseline.
And today, I even collected a few positive points:

• Went for a swim in the pool (water cures it all)

• Left the office early (and spent most of my time there catching up with friends)

• Decided to plan an extended weekend away with my partner (we still need to choose where)

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The Checklist That Helped a Friend, and Then Me

These extra positive points?
I learned them from my friend D., who, after an intense COVID lockdown far from loved ones, created a daily checklist. It’s similar to the baseline, but with a few more gentle nudges.

Here’s what he wrote down for himself, and what I now use too:

• Do some exercise

• Eat well

• Sleep well

• Be in the sun

• Be around people (He didn’t have close friends around at the time, so he’d go to a local café just to be have people around and eventually made a friend there.)

• Do something that brings you joy
  (For him, most days, that meant reading a book.)

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Solving the distribution problem

After two days back at baseline, I feel like I can think again.

I was feeling completely stuck on the distribution part of my prototype.
But now I realize I wasn’t thinking straight.

Here’s what I’m doing instead:

1. Just find 3 to 5 testers. That’s all I need right now.
   Not hundreds of users. Not a funnel. Just a few curious, thoughtful humans to give early feedback.

2. Don’t scale yet. Once I go through a few feedback loops, then I can grow the circle.
   Until then, I can find people by doing the classic “things that don’t scale”:

   • Commenting on Instagram

   • Checking out Facebook groups, Reddit threads, LinkedIn circles

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This Is What Building in Public Looks Like

I guess this what building in public means: sharing not only the product updates, but also

The blocked moments.

The meltdowns.

The baseline resets.
The weeks when nothing makes sense.

If nothing else, I hope that next time I feel stuck, one of you reminds me:

Check your baseline first.